Thursday, October 31, 2013

A Walk to Remember Down Memory Lane

You know how some zombies people feed on brains? Well...I think I feed on memories. It's like The Giver in my room, or something. It's my duty to release the memories and colors, okay? Stop. No. Don't ask any questions. This is science.

  • When I still lived in Mexico my sister and her husband convinced me they were....magical. Kind of like...a witch and a wizard. They demonstrated for me. I believed. I BELIEVED. I asked them about it recently and they definitely looked like they didn't expect me to remember and brushed it off saying "we probably had many remotes you idiot" and I was like, "but what about the toilet paper?!" and they were like.... "no more questions."
  • Lately I feel like people expect me to take life seriously, so I started in on millennial memories. For example, Martyna and I pretended our high school graduation was a play and the gowns were obviously robes. We...somehow...got the exact same GPA so even though we had a 4.36 and barely missed the top 5% mark (we were 6....UGH), we were still in the top 10 so we got to sit next to each other and nothing else mattered. We were sooooo bored during our graduation, we just talked through it and made hand gestures at each other. 
  • Mart, Daisy and I once made fun of a mayor for wanting to "be just a Mayor. Like. Who does that?" Yeah...we're...the Queen Bs of the dickfaces. Bonus: Martyna and I peacefully co-rule the Island of Denial.
  • In AP History I was once dared to work the term "starfucker" into a conversation. I chose to ask about past Presidential sex-scandals.
  • Martyna experimented psychologically on Daisy and I all too often. Now I can't hear the phrase "you make my peepee hard" without thinking of Daisy's dad. I'm sorry. It's involuntary.
  • One time Daisy and I accused Martyna of having BPD. In the dorm. She was most displeased.
  • One time, at the dorm, I was happily showering and going about my cray cray evening plans of studying for chemistry, when I was greeted with "DO NOT COME OUT HERE.""But I'm naked..." "STAY IN THERE PLEASE WE'RE EARNING VODKA". o. I would like to point out that no one was naked (besides me) and they did indeed earn a bottle of sky cherry vodka.Go team!
  • Sally. Oh, sweet Sally. We pretended Daisy was mentally impaired in Target once (Tar-jey). I love playing bitch-roles (it comes naturally) so I had to cause a scene where I yelled at my poor, mentally handicapped sister Sally in public. Then Martyna was playing a part most unusual for herself, of this loving, mothering friend (muahaha). She allowed Sally to go make the nice employee look up video games in the system. Video games that did not exist. 
  • The first time Daisy got me high, the first time I got high from weed (remember, ecstasy was my gateway to drugs so weed kind of happened last for me) was April, 2008. I pretended the bed was a rowboat. THEN I hid under a bed for like an hour because I thought the kids parents were home. Daisy had the screen off the window and we were about to escape when we were....found. Then I locked myself in a room playing Guitar Hero (alone) because there were too many dudes and I didn't want to get raped. Daisy lured me out with blueberry pancakes. Then I went to work.
  • So...I went to work at WIENER, where I had (almost a year previously?) blackmailed upper management into paying me manager's salary without any management responsibilities. I used to be so....cool. I think it was the magenta hair.
  • Oh yeah, Daisy and Martyna conferenced (in front of me) Freshman year at ASU that if Anthony and I ever broke up, they were going on round-the-clock suicide watch. Thanks assholes. ^_^

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Confessions

  • 3081) I really want to take vitamin DAMN with you again, but I'm secretly afraid of a goodbye so I wait.
  • 800)Sometimes I get really depressed for seemingly no reason and I run out of the room, just drop whatever I happen to be doing (usually a collage or coloring), screaming "BORN TO DIE!"
  • I understand this may alarm anyone in the vicinity, but I am just referring to the Lana del Rey album. It cheers me up.
  • 799) I overheard that Bubbles...just bubbles...and the Magic 8 Ball are being introduced to the toys hall of fame... Nirvana IS GOING INTO THE ROCK AND ROLL ONE THOUGH. That's ALL that matters. ...
  • 2009) Socco Amaretto Lime by Brand New is one of my favorite songs ever, ever. I listened to it today and instead of singing along I cried from jealousy of myself. Of my 18-year-old self. That's how vain I am. When I get bit by the green envy monster, it causes intense feelings of jealousy for past miis. 

TL;DR: I either sing or cry if a song is playing. PICK YOUR POISON!. 

Really Random Remembers

So... I went through my bag of "remember when"s from Daisy and Martyna. I had just cracked open a Fanta, so that plus the memories had me in tears on the bathroom floor. THEY WERE HAPPY TEARS! I like to spend quality time with my mirror, so I like to chill out in there wayyyy too often to be considered healthy.

Anywho.

I thought I would share some, not just for those two (ALTHOUGH I HOPE THEY ARE READING. SUCK ME DOWN, HOES)
We love each other, I swear.

These are in no particular order.

  • Remember that time we kidnapped Martyna for her birthday and she lost her iPod?
  • Remember the 30 times we kidnapped Daisy because her dad had her locked up, according to her?
  • Remember when she needed back X-rays every week?
  • Remember at 16 strampling, smoking, and negotiating ecstasy prices when her mom called and she just said, "GOD MOM, it's not like we're doing anything bad!"
  •  Daisy, remember that crazy spree we went on and then we had to flee to a bra store and have Nike pick us up to avoid incarceration?
  • Remember when I almost picked up an innocent black girl walking to school because I thought she was Martyna?
  • Remember the Easter event and how we wore bunny ears and secretly pretended we were Playboy bunnies...at the family...easter...event....
  • Remember that time I had to be Dora the Explorer for some acting event and I threw my back out on nothing the night before and had to work the event high off my ass? Greeeat photos.
  • Remember that time at Wiener when those kids would try to take pictures of me through the drive-through window and I didn't know why? I thought it was the pink hair. 
  • You know how I always get people dressed...differently...who look really shocked to see me, like they already know me from somewhere somehow? Happened most in Europe. There, they would ask me "who are you?" then point to photos of Clooney and Thurman and I was like "idek dude I'm just here for the food".
  • LIKE IDEK WHO GAVE ME A FOOT MASSAGE but thank you...stranger..................... xox
  • Remember when my dad brought my bran cereal signifying that it wasn't a date?
  • Remember radio?
  • Remember the creepy "Tell" donkey that showed up from my childhood, random as fuck, and then we thought up the most horrifying/loving prank ever? 
  • Remember how we spent an inordinate amount of time for two married adults playing with fire, candle repairs, wax drizzles, gauging out toys eyes, and just being creepy together?
  • Remember how everyone loved your Halloween costume? Mine sucked though. 
  • Rainbow. Greenery. Fruitti tutti.
  • Remember how I laughed when you "got hard" in the car...oh that sounds wrong. It all sounds wrong. lololol
  • Remember how we made a one-day turn-around trip to San Diego and we somehow managed to find the time to pull over....... .....................................................................
  • Remember how I think I took care of the President's dogs at Tailwinds sometimes? Just a theory. Could be exact model dogs.
  • Remember....remember....the 5th of November. THE GUNPOWDER TREASON AND PLOT. For there should be no reason that the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot. 

P.S.
Fireflies= aircraft
Diamonds= stars 

Monday, October 28, 2013

Some Fun Facts

because I'm fun-sized

  • I went to the same acting school as shark boy and lava girl and Grace Kelly? I think in her time it was more like princess lessons...
  • ..............................................................................................................
  • My least favorite perceived emotion from others is condescension. If I think you are being condescending I will ignore you. No, I will not tell you what I know because if you think I'm an idiot you don't deserve to know. 
  • I give second chances
  • I give like 10 chances
  • I like to think that no one is motivated by evil. When an evil deed is done I try to analyze the people involved and figure out their motivations. I think of the good ones. Love, family, loyalty, etc. This is how I lie to myself maybe, maybe it's the truth for the most part. I don't want to live in a world that is motivated by evil, greed, or thirst for power. 
  • I want money, yes, but not to lock away and buy myself stuff with. Stuff is worthless to me. I want to be the change....that's a little arrogant though. I want to help spread the love and light.
  • Are you ok? You're ok. YOU'RE OK.
  • I forgive you for everything. 
  • I have a quick temper but I don't hate...I love everyone, even when I know they are being assholes to me. 
  • Don't believe what you read/hear blindly. Ask questions. Ask questions. Ask questions. 
  • I try to live by the scientific method...
  • Happy Halloweek? I don't even want to go out this year. I just want to wear a costume and have people look at me but I don't really want to like, interact with drunk strangers out on the town. 
  • I always feel pressured.

Choices

Halloween is always such an overwhelming time in life. I never know what to be. It's not that I don't have any ideas, I just have too many and I'm too ADD/fantastic to just focus on one...so I end up collecting pieces for like 10 different costumes. I just want to wear all the costumes at the same time. This is exactly the reason I wanted/want to be an actress. The costumes. Pretending to be other people. I went through Supergirl, Queen of Hearts, pirate hooker, pirate, fairy pirate, princess pirate, masque-d pirate, fairy princess, zombie fairy princess, black swan, incognito black swan...pirate black swan? I'm just going to throw some shit around, put that rotten red in my hair and see what I end up as on Halloween. 
I stopped my impending panic attack at the choices when I reminded myself that every day is Halloween for you, you bitch. ::breath::

Then I turned to a pumpkin spice latte hippie smoothie and my radio for comfort. "Burn", by the talented Ellie Goulding, started playing and then I could breath and walk home without any near-death experiences.

Oh yea....french fry cheeseburgers are a thing now. I feel like my life is less incomplete than before with french fry cheeseburgers filling the void....

-_-


Sunday, October 27, 2013

Horoscope not Horrorscope

 ^_^

 

Shenanigans: on. 

 

HOROSCOPE

Select another sign
Gemini
(05/21 - 06/21)
Some fun people are coming into your life today, and they are going to turn what could be a typical day into a very interesting one. Try to get involved in their shenanigans as early on as you can. They're on to something good, and you should find out more about it. They could use a bright, witty person like you on their team, so step up and volunteer! It might not be a day full of victories and accolades, but it could easily be a day full of laughter and smiles.

Money

Everyone takes you seriously today -- which is both frightening and exhilarating: Exhilarating because you just might find your wild idea actually taking shape, and frightening because -- well, for the same reason. Be brave, Gemini -- speak up!

Work

Being yourself at work is a luxury. Face it, you have to be Self-Lite when you're in the office. Let your hair down and be yourself today.

Love

Keep the mood light and fluffy today. It will be easy for you, and it's one of those days that pretty much demands good but quiet times. The big issues can wait for another day.

Food

New-to-you flavors and foods fill your day, which is perfect. If it's one thing you dislike, it's being bored in any area. Try making the Lebanese flatbread saj. It'll be a new and interesting experience.

Home & Garden

Though heavier foods may tempt you, try to satiate yourself with light things today. Think teacakes rather than hoagies, or frozen yogurt rather than a banana split. Small adjustments to your food intake will reinvigorate you.

Motherhood

This is a perfect time for your young'un to put their ideas into action. They've been planning that big Halloween party or special costume for a while now. Once you help them get things started, there will be no stopping them.

Cats

You're seized by inspiration today -- and then you act on it! You feel totally at ease with your improvisation skills, so if everything starts to collapse under you, it's still easy to land on your feet.

Dogs

Up until now you could only watch out the window and fantasize about chasing the school bus, but your ideas will get put into action if you slip out the door this morning. You'll be lucky if the bus driver is as kind-hearted as your owner.

Confusion

I'm confused.

I thought everyone knew more but maybe everyone knows less or just some people know different things and I'm over here just enjoying myself thinking everyone knows everything. Ummm.

So. Confused.

Time to go...wander aimlessly. Ugh. I got one of those e-cigs but sometimes I just need the real deal. I wish I liked drinking instead since livers like regrow themselves and lungs don't but then I would get fat and I'm told to lose weight and hate working out soo..... yeah.... None of this is a problem, I swear.

111th

This is my eleventy-first post. CELEBRATE!

Last night I had a perfect night. I...stayed in, for one. I was thinking about getting baked baking muffins, and writing, when I started reflecting on Einstein's theory of relativity and space/time travel. I was only half joking about that time machine. It's not how you think though. It's a slow-down-time machine and it goes in one direction.

Um. I forgot my journal upstairs, but I want to write about my ideas. I swear. Basically, I need to go visit the jet propulsion lab at ASU on Monday, and the people in the MARS building and stuff...Yeah.
Asteroid mining really opens up a lot of possibilities for...travel...
Then I thought about parabolas and how if the limit never approaches anything the limit does not exist. More about time travel, how the people aboard the vessel would stay forever young kind of, at least for wayyyyy longer than anyone on Earth as the explorers cruise at half-light-speed to the Goldilocks planet I was thinking about, later. That's all stuff for another day, another post, after more research, and when I'm not half-baked. 

You can say it's a lazyyy Sunday. 

I was bored earlier and practiced writing backwards on my mirror. If anyone walked in on that they might be concerned. Especially since as I was writing the rave music stopped and the DJ exclaimed: "
THE DEVIL IS YOUR DJ TONIGHT MUAHAHA" and I proceeded to giggle like a maniac...yeah...sometimes I wonder about myself...only sometimes. ^_^


Cal's Table Flip



When I get really mad I become violent like Cal, only mine goes like:
bitch. ::HAIR FLIP::
^_^
Have a fantastic and marvelous Sunday.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

EARTH AND SPACE exploration

Yesterday I went to a talk about ANSMET, a meteorological studies thing at ASU where you go find meteorites in Antarctica and have the coolest time for like half a year with astronauts and mountaineers. The speaker informed us that the difficulty was that some of the people in the 12 person team had never even handled meteorites! I was like... "WHAT I handled loads of them last year, I've got some at home!" Then they did a test on identifying meteorites and I got them all. Soooo.... Antarctica.... The planetarium show informed me of the comet that will be brightest around Thanksgiving and then it...sort of...whips around the sun. It's tail chases it in and then it chases its tail outta here. It may not survive the sun encounter, but if it does we get another view of it on December 26ish, and possible meteor shower when we pass through its orbit around January 15th.
So uh. There's some excitement to look up for.


OH YEAH! I heard about the open house thanks to Meg, affectionately known as the Mars Mom at ASU, from back in the day when I used to play as a NASA intern. I got to see the scale replica of the Curiosity Rover. Did you know many of the cameras were designed AT ASU?!? I did. I used to watch a live feed from Curiosity on my down time at ASU my Junior year. I usually phoned my mom and we'd talk for like an hour or two then I would go back to just playing with fossils and meteorites and earth's precious metals.
NO BIG DEAL. I'm JUST A GIRL. In fact, I'm not even here typing this right now. I am not here. What government? Vice President who? What? Speaker? House? No idea.
SHHHH. I'm just an illusion. A dream, if you will.
Anywhore,

I caught up with Meg and I was relieved beyond belief to hear how happy she was that I chose to take the semester off for my sanity...I told her about some of the pranks and the Screen Actors Guild/ AFTRA aspirations (pipe dreams, it would be crazy, madness, INSANITY, if any of it were real.) and I told her about some of the pranks and shenanigans that go on here at the Grigio. She said:
"Oh yeah, that's happening and it's going to keep happening".
I was half elated and half terrified.
Hahahaha.
In entirely unrelated news, I miss the days when new unreleased music and like a million remixes used to ninja their way into my laptop and my life. I should take care of that so I can enjoy everything my family has to offer...
I am also missing one shoe from each pair. I know this sort of thing happens though, but I thought I would share.
My house didn't get egged. It got salted. Literally. Recently. They left a note. Hahahaha. FU!

-__-
It's okay though. The others took care of it. Just figments of my imagination. I don't have any proof in my room or anything. That would be so so so so so strange. 

I would also like to take this opportunity to say that I do not, in fact, control the airwaves. I know it seems like I do sometimes, but... come on. Be real. One person having that kind of influence is madness, and whoever believes that needs to be locked up. STAT! 
I never believed in magic. Nope. 

JK. Totes do. That's besides the point. Hey, you, Anthony,  do you remember that time we were listening to the radio and said "do you believe in magic" at the same time as the radio? -_*

Friday, October 25, 2013

SHARING IS CARING

So I'm sharing a lot...




Oh yeah. I...briefly...saw the President of the United States of America. Meet and greet type of thing.
You know the one... Mr. Obama. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I get another chance to be more composed... ^_^ It went kind of like this (I'm the kid in the middle):



Post by Romina Fahl.


P.S. I've met a lot of people the last few months. I don't tell. Who would believe me, anyways?
Peave, love, and triangles. #offline
#notallowedarealphonesostopgettingmad

Angels Forever. Forever Angels.









Hey. Hey. HEY BABE!











A little bird told me that we're almost superstars angels forever. So just. Shut up, I love you.







Thursday, October 24, 2013

Families

pretend I'm drunk as you read this
Okay so it's getting a little confusing to say Family #1, #2 and #3, so now it's First Family, Birth Family, and The Chosen Family. I just want to blend them all together, but they're being naughty and stubborn as fuck. For example, my husband hasn't come to sign his membership card, so he's just there...in the air. Somewhere.

 I want us to go to the Jingle Ball together, but I'll need an answer by December. (your AMC card is in my wallet, FYI). I understand if he...doesn't want to sit with me at these events. He needs to make up his mind though, because once I sit with the big kids, there's no going back. He's invited to the party, of course, because he's my husband and everyone just adores him. ...


I like...dates. Friendship dates, though. Like in Pulp Fiction, when Mia Wallace gets a foot rub and then someone gets thrown out of a window. So anyways, I'll go on a date when I'm bored, and just like magic, I get something shiny, or a new gold card pass, or something platinum, or more air time.
Je pense que...
It's time to up the ante, people.
 Well...hold up. Gotta be careful with what I say. I'm going in a good-girl direction. One single direction at the moment. I'm trying so hard, but it's like when Lisa was a vegetarian and her mother would sneak beef broth into her meals. It's like that...just...different. ^_^
Mommy and daddy want me to eat meat, though, damn it. So...I was all sorts of scattered before, when I was...vegan...However, now that I'm eating meat and pizza and icing my drinks, I find that I'm getting enough protein.
 I'm all sorts of here. 
I even started to cook and clean. I thought I was sick or something. Who does that sort of thing?!? Apparently I do, now. I invented some college ethnic-fusion recipes. They involved a lot of ramen or tortillas with BBQ sauce. The BBQ was the American part, if you couldn't guess.

Back to Never Ever Land. La La Land. Wonderland. Heaven. My Kingdom. Whatevz. The Room of Requirement has it all. 

Remember folks, you're not trolling me. I've been trolling you. 

I wonder if Reddit knows that my birth mark, the one featured in the vevo video for "Wake Me Up", is like...their icon. 

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Your Song!

So I changed some songs from their original versions to fit my blog...so...here's some poetry (scattered nonsense) (DON'T SUE ME)

Welcome to the Hotel California.
Some dance to remember,
Some dance to forget.
I hear that
the road to heaven,
runs through miles of clouded hell.
It's Time.
I need a mission, a dream,
Something to stop me talking to myself,
Believe Me...
You are the shifter of my shape,
For making sense of what we say
from our "Swimming Pools".
Why do I always draw triangles, 
instead of the words this page so deserves?
'cause I Wish I Stayed.
You see, the lights don't stop me.
I turn to stone.
& I tell myself that I'll be strong,
When they're gone,
but they shine when I'm alone.
Lights, lights, lights, lights.
& with all my education,
I can't seem to command it,
all my words come back all damaged,
& I would put them back in poetry,
if I only knew how.
& I would give all this, and Heaven, too,
if only for a moment that I could just understand, 
the world You see,
'cause I've been scrawling it forever,
and it never makes sense to me at all...
and....
I don't have much money,
but boy, if I did,
I'd buy a BIG house, 
where we both could live.
It's more than a little bit funny,
This love inside...
Unfortunately.......
I'm not one of those who can easily hide.
&
I hope you don't mind.
I hope you don't mind,
that I've put down in words,
how wonderful life is,
because you're in my world.


Thanks The Eagles, Ellie Goulding, Florence & the Machine, Imagine Dragons, and Elton John... <3

Real Deep Reflections

I've been enjoying my down-time today. My wi-fi connectable phone mysteriously stopped working yesterday, but thank the Lord I still have my phone-shaped radio. I also have some CDs from my youth. I tired of radio after 24/7 radio on...so I started to revisit my younger self. Can I just say that...I was the coolest. I don't know what happened. Somewhere along the way...I turned into a huge nerd junkie BUT, it's good to know I still know all the lyrics to all those songs. ^_^

Now...I have a serious question. E-mail me or comment if you can spare a moment pretty please.
What do you see when you close your eyes?

.

This feels like that moment when I asked my AZBFFL what color her "number 5" was and she was like "wtf...WAIT THIS IS A THING!" Then she ran off. She came back with a psychology textbook open to the synesthesia page. This was in our high school history class...she's kind of great.


Anywho. WHAT DO OTHER HUMANS SEE?!?

Do you see all the colors and kaleidoscope shapes? Goodness gracious, life would suck. I mean... That's okay if you don't. I just thought everyone could see the stuff...



Um. Okay so a long time ago I took a trip with another bestest friend forever (he's like, my other half or something...he's cool.), aaaand the best way to describe it is...it was like sharing with someone else what I usually see with my eyes closed, but with my eyes open. The main difference was we were both there, in that magical land and life was hysterical and magical and shit.

Anyways, gotta go. I think Katy Perry is mad at me....or something. DO NOT CROSS THAT WOMAN. ^_^

Deep Reflections

I put the tramp in trampoline,
the ass in classy,
and art in heart.
<3

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Cats, Heroin, and Crack+

I've been writing about crack, wine, and crystal meth so much that I felt like maybeeee I was coming off as a junkie of some sort. Let me tell you. I'm no Junkie Jane. In fact, Lady Gaga made me go to rehab so I'm just over here....sober..... laughing my ass off day in and night in because of love crack.
LOVE JUNKIE. K?
I love Halloween, too. I just don't like the slut parties as much as the trick-or-treating. I wonder...
Anyways I decided to reblog The Bloggess, because she's the coolest. Here, read her shit and laugh you assholes. <3

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Rick Roll. DON'T CLICK


This is the Future

and everything is weird.
Some guy had a metal beard.

Also? I'm an Android. I developed an Apple allergy somehow. DR. DR!!!! Nope. Still...busyyyy. 

There was a nun. Playing an instrument. 
Ellie slipped a nip.
Gaga wants me to touch everyone.

My life rocks.Maybe insanity just rocks? 

Nothing is EVER WEIRD NOW. 

/normal

Love Crack

I...have the worst soundbytes.

My latest is saying "LOVE CRACK! Looooooove...crack..." as an explanation to my non-stop laughter. 

Oh boy.  

It's the crack. K?

Sunday, October 13, 2013

It's Sunday. I'M LAZING OKAY

Me: "I'M STANDING ON THE ROOFTOP READY TO FALL!" YEAH!
Rooftop: O REALLY
Me: ::attempts ballet::     ::crashes and burns::
Rooftop: lololololololol

Sooooo....even though I continued with my ballet lesson, self-led, I made an owie. Hahahaha aaaaand this is why I will never have two functional thumbs.

































































OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW





















<4

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Everybody Talks?

This is what happens when I try to fill-in-the-blank:

"When in Rome..."  "HAVE FUN, AMIRIGHT?"

"You can't have your cake and eat it, too"  "....what? That's stupid. What else do you do with cake? It should be.... YOU CAN'T HAVE TEN KITTENS HAHAHAHAHAHA" -me, on morphine. A long, long time ago. Drunk words, sober thoughts? lololol

I'll think of more. It's been a long day of...mostly enjoying myself? It was weird. It's always weird. It's cool though. I totes spent a night in jail, you guys. I couldn't wait to tell everyone. It sucked. 
Ugh. I'm so exhausted though.
Careful what you ask for!
 I need some private time on top of the world. 
kthxbai! ^_^

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

RAWR

Being Brave
Everyone continues to be like "hey ho" or whatever, or saying stuff like, "OMG HAI STRANGER DO U ALWAYZ TELL DA TRUTH". and I'm like...lolwut. Yes? I don't know what the hell you want to know total stranger.

So, here it is, the thing that's been bothering the hell out of me that I haven't said out loud because it's kind of embarrassing?

I'm not a whore. 

I'm not a slutso. Slut. Slore. Nothing is fake. I guess my teeth, I had braces, so they're straighter than they should be.

Ummmm yeah. There have been zeroD's in or around my M. That's for sure. hahaha. I had a Friend once, long ago. It was anticlimactic. hahahaha. See what I did there?

I can't talk to girls because they all hate me already....and I can no longer talk to boys because I flip shit (ewww that sounds gross) on them when they try anything. Then I never speak to them again. If we're outside (typical), I just pick a direction and go, go, go. I don't know. There really is something wrong with me. That's not typical behavior. Those are not typical reactions. I don't know. 
It kind of reminds me of that episode of friends when Rachel kept slapping Joey's hand.
Like that....but less attractive and with more angry walking. 

Happy now? lolololol 'cause I'm not! 
Again, it's not that I can't get the guys. I don't want to get the guys but when I do want to get them my body's like "hahaha silly ho, you thought..."

-__-


p.s. I tried to post this before and freaked out because I'm such a lame. BEING. BRAVE. (sorry world).

The Flu Kills

Okay I swear I'm leaving the keyboard soon.

So I got this flyer on Mill about AIDS and sins and stuff. Ummm. It's gotten to the point where I don't know whether this is a serious flyer or a parody. It's really funny, though!
Sins are like AIDS and you'll die from the flu....yeah that sounds about right? hahaha
I want to write to them. I'm worried they're going to come with an exorcist though.
Archer's codename (one of them) is AIDSy though so...you be the judge of how I feel about AIDS. I mean in real life, it's awful, I have actual opinions and stuff with scholarly journals to back me, but no one wants to hear that except other biologists or students from my classes. Unfortunately I'm not in those this semester.


TL;DR: Jesus is blackmailing me. Or the Pope. Either way, it's cool!

Dancing...

A lot has changed, but nothing has?

Well....over the summer when I was doing my summertime sadness drinking... There was no one on Mill. EVER! It was awesome. Most people say it sucked, but I loved it. I had a few friends but I went bitch-mode on them one day so...idk. I hold nothing against them, though. However, during this time I went out every single night. I "danced". By dancing, I mostly mean jumping around like a maniac every time the song "Lights" came on. I am not a good dancer. That does not mean I don't love the fuck out of dancing.
The last handful of times I've gone to Mill I have not danced. Not how I do anyways. I have dance blue balls, so to speak. It's fun. It's not fun when I'm being judged on how I dance. This is why I never told anyone anything about acting. It's mine and I did not need anyone taking it away from me. Now I'm sure enough about myself and about my improv skills that I would not be afraid of a random improv competition or something like that. You know that saying "dance like nobody's watching"? It's...hard to pretend nobody's watching when no one else is dancing. Bahaha but hopefully soon I find a place to jam out. Clam preferably not out. I don't do that. ;)

Mental Notes Were Stacking!

Blog frenzy.

This is based on a note I have yet to deliver. I had to censor it.

You know that song Mirrors by that one guy? JT? Justin Timberlake.
Yeahhh I loved it when I first heard it. Then it made me sad because I was like "FU JT! Stop rubbing love in our faces!" I think I'm stealing this joke, but I would laugh when I heard it. I thought of it as JT's love song to himself. It was a dark, cloudyyy time in my life. It was hard for me to look at myself in the mirror. I didn't like what I saw.
Now...well, I love looking in the mirror. I also love that song!  It would be better if....
[censored]

#sexdreamz

So....uhhhhhh
Anyone down for a rooftop party, on top of the world? I don't mean on Mill....although I could be persuaded to go there too. Wait no. THAT Rooftop is closed tonight I'm pretty sure. E-mail me? haha I'm so behind the times. 90s chick still living in the 90s apparently! :P


Football and Acting

***STORY TIME (based on true events)

I have this agent...she's been ridiculously helpful to me at times when I had no one else to turn to. She also gets me jobs sometimes, it's pretty awesome. She's pretty awesome. She always knows when I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown and she helps. A lot. Thanks Ruth, if you ever read this (emailing you the link now...sorry I suck sometimes!) Anyways, her son Dustin is also nice to me, and he totally takes my pictures sometimes.Hahaha let me rephrase. Ah fuck it, he does my headshots! Funny thing, he also got me that audition at Leighton Agency in the first place. 
 July 2009
I went with a friend to audition for a radio commercial or something during Summer Bridge. I almost didn't go. I was mostly giving my friend a ride, but thought my dream was not attainable at the time. I walked in, started my audition thing, and after some words this happened:
D- Do you have an agent?
Me- Um, no. I've actually been hoping to audition for Leighton Agency but I don't have experience besides some plays...oh and I just turned 18, and my parents didn't let me before...::dramatic sigh::
D- My name is Dustin Leighton, Ruth Leighton is my mother. You now have an audition. 
Me- ::almostpeespants::
::Fast-forward a week::
I definitely messed up my first cold read, and my little 18year old heart was deflating before my Future Acting Agent said anything...except instead of "No", or "just...GTFO" she said "Try one more...pick a longer one." Then I definitely picked a sadness forever Humane Society one and nailed it somehow. I blame magic.
She said, "yes".
I...would have peed my pants, but I was wearing a dress and that's just weird. It was July 2009. I had just turned 18, and I had already moved into the dorms for a crazy awesome thing called Summer Bridge.
::Fast Forward to November 2009::
I did a commercial this one time. It was a football commercial. For Tostito's.... it aired during the Fiesta Bowl. Some people saw it, I think. I only saw it once. It's evaded me ever since! Anyways...I know nothing about football. Still. How did I get the role? I faked it. and I made it. BAM!
Oh and my ------- Husband taught me basic terminology the night before when I was freaking the fuck out. He showed me how normal people would react to things happening during a football game. It helped.
ohhh and about the whole acting thing... I am absolutely positive. Performing. All of it, any of it, I'm ready, and thinking about it makes me happy, excited, optimistic, and gives me back the warm fuzzies . School is on hold for a semester, but I can (and will) finish online so I'm available for the whole auditioning and working strange days and times thing again!!!*
*pirate.edit: as soon as I get a reliable vehicle.
I am in love with Tempe, but it seems like Tempe doesn't...idk. It's weird. Basically, I am up for anything. I would move but I am not going out of my way to move for no reason. I can stay here until May or June when I must use my plane ticket by. I could live anywhere though. I kind of just want to get in my car and drive and see what happens. When I get off my ass and get one. Better start now!

Live for the applause?

I love this Lady Gaga song, "Applause".
I did a quick, silly breakdown today of what that means to me though.

"I live for the applause".

Applause= your love
Your love= My drug
 My drug= My anti-drug

 lmfao
yeahhhhhhhhh muffiiiiiiiiins
 

Choices, Harry

"It is our choices that make us who we really are."
- a really cool dude...but fuck him.
He was a made up dude. Which means that someone was deranged enough to create this old, almost omnipotent, legit as fuck, occasionally shady, cool old guy. I hear that this woman not only dreamt up that old geezer, but a whole slew of witches, wizards, muggles, talking animals, and non-talking magical animals. That's totally not the weird part though. The weirdest, craziest part of it? The characters, the students and professors at Hogwarts, all seem to possess an unnaturally tough moral fiber. This is a book about witchcraft. Morals? pshhh.
In plain English? No one is that kind all the time! No one is just naturally better at one thing than other people! Harry= Quidditch, Hermione= books and stuff,  Ron= having a soul (tough for gingers)
Let's dissect Hermione though. In real life, Hermione would probably be overweight. That's just what happens when you love to read that much...ahem...being a nerd, she would probably be bullied extensively, which would lead to low, low, low self-esteem. (Okay everyone needs to watch Brad Neely's version of HP and you'd be laughing right now...Dear Reader: Wizard People...just do it). She probably wouldn't have friends, but its okay, she has her cat and her books...Anywho, in the 7th HP,  she would NOT have disowned cast a spell on her family, let alone on her own parents, so that she could go fight evil with her best friend and with her future husband. In this alternate Hogwarts-less reality, she would have been dependent on her parents and would have chosen them instead of whispering the magic word: "obliviate".

So, to wrap that up, Hermione is a fat-fuck, a disgrace to females, obviously a cheater (how else did she always get good marks...HOW?!?), she cannot take care of herself because if you think about it, without Harry and Ron she's nothing, a nobody...oh, and she hates Muggles with a fiery passion because she's a witch in a Muggle family and they'll never understand her! I mean, these Muggles have never even BEEN to Hogwarts!!! WTF!  ::runsandcries::
I feel mean. I'm sorry Hermione. I don't believe those things....entirely... :P
I know a few Muggles like that. Muggles who don't even know what Hogwarts is. I mean, if I were a muggle and I had to take a crack at guessing what Hogwarts is, I would say it's...definitely an insane asylum. I mean, I remember some dude once with a degree or something said that only mongoloids enjoy the Harry Potter series, therefore it's logical to assume (remember, muggle-logic...)that Hermione in the real world is just a sad teenager in some looney bin called "Hogwarts", and maybe she's actually the person who wrote the series.
Oh wait! 
J.K!
(Rowling)


:D HP= <3